Good Guys, Young Marriage and Compromise

Being married at 24 years old comes with a whole bunch of questions, from other people and from myself. I thought I would elaborate on my experiences in young marriage and not just young in age but also young in years (Malcolm and I have only been married for 11 months now). This could also be a reminder to my post-baby self that life right now is good!

I drove Maclolm crazy for months on end about the fact that we had been together for 5 years and he had still not proposed. I was quite bratty actually. There is one thing that you must realize when you catch one of the few good guys left out there in the world, he needs to make sure he can provide for his wife. The good guy, no matter how much you nag, will make sure he has a stable job, possibly a house and is emotionally strong enough to provide for you. This is programmed so deeply into their core that no matter how fast you want things to move or how badly you want that big white wedding, he will only promise to spend his life providing for you, once he knows he actually can. I cannot be more appreciative of this and now that I look back, that is exactly what Malcolm did before he made the promise to marry me. He had been working at his job for 2+ years, we had just purchased our first house and I could see he was emotionally invested in this journey we were about to embark on.

Our wedding wasn't big at all. We had hardly any budget for a huge shindig after just buying a house and having to do some repairs. Compromises had to be made but you know what, I loved the intimacy of our wedding. There were a total of 12 people, including us, in an intimate dining area of an Italian Villa styled venue. We didn't spend money on DJ's, photographers or photo booths. The menu was simple and the food was delicious. The whole point of this special day was to celebrate our new family and relish in the fact that we were officially Mr and Mrs (and partly to celebrate that my nagging didn't send Malcolm running out the door as fast as he could).

They don't send you off with a manual but the principals are the same whether you marry at 24 or 34 or even 44, you are in a marriage that takes teamwork, love and compromise. If you have that then you are well on your way to celebrating 50 years together in the future. We seldom fight or argue and I really believe that it's because we put these core values (teamwork, love and compromise) into action every single day. Marriages should always be a safe environment for the two people in it, as soon as is starts to become unsafe and toxic, you need to both step back an reevaluate what it is you are doing.

I myself am constantly in awe at the man I found and got to marry. I am always thankful for the support, friendship and love he gives me every day. I hope to wake up when I am 80, think of the life we have spent together and smile with simple contentment.

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