Running out of time

08:00

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Being a young adult, which I am apparently allowed to call myself until 39, comes will all sorts of thrills, adventures, milestones and, of course, obstacles. Back in February of last year I wrote a post about "this point in my life" and reading back on it now, I need to write more thoughtful posts like that because as much as this blog is for sharing things with others, it is also for myself. I have reached another "point" in my life and here is how it's going;

I am 25 and feel like I am running out of time. Oh.my.god. Ridiculous, I know, but now I have my very own family to provide for and hold onto forever and ever and ever. I want to do so much with them and for them.

An update from my previous post on life, I have the big house, I have a ring on my finger as well as a handsome husband to go with it. I even have an ever growing zoo at home, which makes me very happy. I am happy. I have mostly everything I wanted to have at my age. One of my more recent discoveries is that time has become something very meaningful to me and I just feel like its not enough. This feeling reaches all aspects of my life but I am mainly referring to my career and furthering myself in order to provide for my family.

I picture a boat, with me and a few crew members. Each one of them represents a specific amount of time I have left on earth. Each crew member needs a task which will hopefully make our trip smooth sailing. How do I choose what each member will do? How do I choose what to invest my time in? do I start studying again? or try start my own business in who knows what? I guess that is why its a good idea to have your career set in place before you get married and settle down. Alas, my boat has just sprung a leak and my crew members are busy shoveling water whilst I try fix it. I have loads of motivation but no where to direct it. The best thing for me right now would be to dip my foot in the water one toe at a time and see where life takes me. I am excited to see what happens and reading back on this, I hope I succeed! Did I?

Even after I settle down in a certain career path, I fear I will still have the anxious feeling of not having enough time. My thoughts have gotten so far as to fear that I will not have enough time with my children before they leave the house and make a life for themselves (and I don't even have kids yet!). Neurotic, I know.

I don't have enough time to do everything but I will make it count for something in the end.

Claire

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